#3 Tea Parties

In America, when Conservatives want to bind together and vent their deep rooted racial frustrations, they often will have what's called a "tea party." If you make more than $250,000 a year or are a family making greater than $500,000 a year, then you most likely will have to pay a higher percentage of taxes than others making less. To conservatives this is quite simply unacceptable.

The idea of a Tea Party is very symbolic. In 1773, forefathers violently protested in what would become known as the "Boston Tea Party." The protest centered around the unfair taxation of tea imports from Great Britain. Many within the English Colonies believed that is was tyrannical to impose taxes on the Colonies without proper colonial representation in Parlilment. Hence the phrase, "No taxation without representation." Conservatives interprut this phrase as, "No taxes." Or "I don't think I should pay taxes." Later translations in rural Conservative America have read, "Why should I pay for your welfare check?" Ironically we paid for our own Revolutionary War with taxes. Ever since, America has funded much of its growth from taxes. To a conservative, this is no longer essential and is of course Socialism. Over the past 16 months, the Federal Government has spent more money than ever before. In October of 2008, this started with expensive "big bank" bailouts designed to assist powerful conservatives. This all came to a head when America was asked to fund for a better health care system that would expand coverage to the uninsured. As already revealed in the first post (Paying For Health Care), this is unAmerican and socialist. All conservatives know that it is important to continue to pay for healthcare, otherwise we would be no different than a pussy European nation.

What's the solution? Tea Party like it's 2009! Tea Parties have rivatalized long gone white angst, supressed selfishness, and mental retardation. If attending a Tea Party, it's important to understand that the agenda is unclear at best. As seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fevga9jUC48

#2 Ayn Rand

If you want to make a conservative ejaculate, mention Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand was a Russian born philosopher/writer who invented Objectivism. Objectivism basically takes the idea of "survival of the fittest" and applies it only to human behaviors--essentially this embodies the conservative lifestyle to care only about yourself. This makes Rand's writings a staple reference to conservative intellectualism. Ayn Rand was a well known advocate for ultra capitalism. This gives conservatives an intelligent springboard for almost every economical discussion you could imagine.

An essential work of Rand's is "Atlas Shrugged," which is a futuristic, hysteria filled depiction of a US Government gone ape shit commie. Economic progress is stifled all around because of a pesky fucking government, a fictional, sensationalized, paranoia fuck fest tale that all conservatives will insist is happening at this very moment. What's most interesting in the timeliness of "Atlas Shrugged," is that it comes in a post WWII, Red Scare era--which makes sense for Rand's current revival as we face a similar communist fueled extinction.

What you will find most interesting about Ayn Rand is not her love for assholic levels of capitalism, but the fact that she also was a very open Atheist. To boot, she supported the ideas of gay marriage. Mention this to a conservative and you might risk sending them into some sort of wormhole.

#1 PAYING FOR HEALTHCARE

In modern, industrialized countries throughout the world, health care is fully or in part funded by their democratic governments, and ultimately taxpayers. In America, conservatives know this as "socialism." Fear (a later entry) is essential to conservative thinking, and when it comes to healthcare, universal coverage means our doctors would turn stupid, our hospital's state of the art equipment would break, and everyone magically gets sick--flooding our waiting rooms.

When conversing with a conservative on univeral health care, or even health care reform, it's important to understand the commonalities of their rhetoric. In an attempt to discount UHC as socialism, conservatives will imidiately begin fabricating statistics that reveal how bad health care systems are in other countires with UHC, though it is completely contrary to what their citizens would tell you. Often a conservative will claim that people should take better care of themselves. Pay close attention to this, as you will find that at least half of the conservatives saying this are fat disgusting pigs. Another arguement would be that our children are going to be stuck paying for healthcare. Though healthcare costs continue to rise, forcing everyone to pay more, the mere thought of "junior" be stuck with bill is too much for a conservative to withstand. You see taxes to a conservative, is the same as throwing away freedom. The Postal Service, the Military, FBI, CIA, police, and fireman are just some of the examples of services conservatives don't want to be burdeoned with paying for privately, however paying for healthcare is un-American.