#7 Pretending To Stand For Freedom

In America, Conservatives actually have a copyright on the idea of "freedom." At least the believe they do. Freedom means many things, but to a conservative it only means a handful of things that benefit them and only them. Insisting terrorists hate America because "they hate our freedom" helped us pass the freedom friendly Patriot Act. Leaving marriage laws up to the states' citizens (even after state legislatures vote for gay marriage)means equal rights for all of our citizens, except for the "fags." How about buying some beer in many counties throughout the southeast on a Sunday? Fuck that, there's no reason for local businesses to have another day of sales each week--much less the freedom of purchasing some alcohol any day you wish. How about women's rights to choose. Fuck that again! Women ain't the ones who get us our freedom. Men get us our freedom. Freedom ain't free. Women in submarines, infantry, special forces--fuck that! Gays in the military? FUCK THAT! Remember gays are second class citizens and are not allowed to have equal rights in the free-est country in the world. How about the right to terminate under a terminal illness? How about the decriminalization of marijuana? F-U-C-K T-H-A-T! That's right! And all of these are things that a conservative will not support will simultaneously maintaining they stand for freedom more than anyone else. That's the conservatives' greatest magic trick.
What is freedom to a conservative you might ask? Not paying taxes and the 2nd amendment. PERIOD. Gun control is always sensationalized as an intrusion of freedom. You know what is an intrusion Conservatives? Wiretapping and profiling whoever the fuck you want. That's intrusion. You know what else is not freedom? Telling a normal human being they can't marry. You know what else? Insisting you put your superstitious laws of God in courthouses, knowing well not every person in our supposed free country is not Christian. You know what fucking else? Insisting that prayer be fully integrated in our public school systems. That's why you have Sunday school. I don't see anyone trying to force standard school lessons into Sunday School. All of this bullshit, and conservatives will still continue to stand in front of the American flag, hand over heart, claiming to be the ones who stand for freedom. Let freedom ring, right?